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Steve Urkel: Well, it starts out with a little cough. Carl Otis Winslow: 150 extra people on what should've been a small family affair. Harriette Winslow: Carl, calm down, it's not the school's fault. Cop: It's also against the law. I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Steve Urkel: Don't panic, my love! Steve Urkel: A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. And there is nothing you can do to ever change my mind. Steve Urkel: I know! This isn't my grandmother. Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Laura Lee Winslow: Did you get any sleep? Laura Lee Winslow: Let's just take that risk. I wanna play some of my own records on the jukebox, but I don't know how to put them in. [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Carl Otis Winslow: Well sweetheart, if you feel that strongly about it, maybe you should do something about it. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]. Steve Urkel: Uh, Eddie, is this a bad time? On the way to the Sizzle Club, I took a little detour to the precinct. Wha? I was on the bus on the way to day camp when all of a sudden my eyes started to water and I started coughing up all this green stuff. You can stay. Laura: Wait a second. Maxine Johnson: Ooh Laura, you look good. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [driving off] Would you relax, Steve? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: I couldn't even go in. Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! He opted ofr early retirement. You had an accident. Originally slated to be a one-time-only character on the show, he broke out to be its most popular character and gradually became its protagonist. Steve Urkel: The woman's been flirting with me. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. Eddie: Isn't there somebody else you could annoy? If you hit me, do I not sneeze? Willie Fuffner: [Wipes his own mouth] Thank you. What do you have to say for yourselves? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [sympathetically] Eddie, Carl was just about your age when he lost his dad. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. [Carl has just gotten wind of Eddie's plans to have a flier party. Get up and get your own pie! Steve Urkel: I can't! Carl Otis Winslow: [after bringing Eddie home from jail] Now Edward, stop looking around for Steve. Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. You trifled with my emotions! [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Laura Lee Winslow: Did they let you take one? [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Clarence: Dude, you a serious little nerd. And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. It is not empty at all. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Carl Otis Winslow: Well there's no rush. Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Muskrat Time! The wind has chapped my lips. Steve Urkel: Why, sure! He heads downstairs to confront Steve]. Eddie swoops in and starts taking pictures]. Steve Urkel: My Blood pressure. Let me tell you something though Weasel. Bushwhacker Luke: 'Cause they couldn't catch her till then! Carl Otis Winslow: [Gasps] Why of all the low down Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Calm down, Carl. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. Carl Otis Winslow: Tell me Harriet, before I left for work this morning, did I or did I not tell Edward to empty the trash can? Why would anybody want to kill her? Steve Urkel: Swell, Punch! Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. I'll just begin a rigorist-training schedule. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. I've got the STD, all I need is U." 3. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! I can teach you how to cook. Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. Steve Urkel: Oh no! No. 102 Pick Up Lines to Break the Ice: Funny, Cheesy, and Cringe - Best Life Laura: You know, I shouldn't be mingling with the opposition, but I just wanted to tell you how handsome you look under fluorescent lighting. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, I'm here for you, baby. Stupid? Eddie: [while Eddie and Carl where doing wiring for the satelite dish] Be Careful with those wires Dad. Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. YOU'RE WHERE? I don't know what to say. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. Dadadadada! Carl Otis Winslow: I know. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl, you lazy slug! I mean, you are very Laura: Let's just put it this way You have the perfect face for your head. Look, Steve. Carl Otis Winslow: Ohohoho and they are personal and private. Well if he does it again, I'm gonna grab his bellows and make a wish. Family Matters Compilation - "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up - YouTube Stefan Urkelle: Where did you learn all that? I've had more food than this stuck in between my teeth. Harriette: [Reading] Swiss Family Robinson! Waldo: I got close once. How much will that cost me? The Battle of Pickup Lines: Part 1 || STEVE HARVEY - YouTube Carl Otis Winslow: [pulls up a chair] Sit down, Edward. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room. Laura Lee Winslow: I'm not sure what day is this? Carl: Uh, just bring us burgers and fries. 1. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Our limo awaits. Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. Waldo: I'm sorry, Steve. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. He held operations in Chicago. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, what are you waiting for? Laura: I couldn't have done this without you. Rachel Crawford: Maybe you could come back when your voice has changed. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You know, I never thought I'd see the day that I actually agreed with Waldo Geraldo Faldo. Edward! OGD now knows the police aren't enemies]. Rodney Beckett: Steve, come on outside. Here's What Steve Urkel Looks Like Today. Oh my God! Clarence has under control. Chocum hi chip chok!". Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh great, I'm gonna lose my toes. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! T-Pain says Kanye West stole one of his lines after calling it - REVOLT Chain: It occurs to me that you could be wired. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. Steve Urkel: This page is in Korean. To rob and murder? Trying to cover it up would only make it worse. Steve Urkel: [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness] Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo? We only have to make one quick delivery. You know, I was exposed to this sort of thing when I was growing up, but I always hoped it would be different for my kids. Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. I can't breathe! Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? The Ethical Issues With Stefan Urquelle In Family Matters Curtis Williams: I'm Curtis Williams. Who does these things? Carl: You know, the only thing worse than not catching any fish is hearing you sing about it. Well, actually it's Quincy, but you guys get the picture. [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Why, you teach us things about life! But honey, let's put a positive spin on it. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel. My mom's the one who really messed up. I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! The only reason I asked you to be my partner was because I was worried about my grade. Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? Stefan Urquelle: Steve, what's up with your cousin? Myra Monkhouse: I rearranged the chamber. Carl Otis Winslow: Well guess what Harriet, it's not empty. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel - CNN Video [the half nerd side of Carl goes into the anatomy of worms. Steve Urkel: Sh-she touched me, Carl! Then instead of admitting it, you let us spread a log in Lake Michigan. Why would somebody do this to me?' Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Who would've thought Harriette was a bit friendly. Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. Eddie: If I don't pull at least a C on my midterm exam, I'm gonna flunk Algebra. You have the right to have an attorney present. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. I can't afford a B on my permanent record. Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. Harriette Winslow: [to Rachel] Believe me! Lionel: Really? Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. Carl Otis Winslow: March 24th, Raoul's houseboat is beautiful. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Oh man I didn't think you were this cool. Stefan Urkelle: Well, it could be a few days, or weeks, or [Steve voice] any minute now! You kissed me. Rachel Crawford: Little Richie spoke his first word. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! Harriette Winslow: Carl, out first table was next to the entrance where everybody was waiting to be seated. Steve Urkel: Look, I know the pay is lousy, the hours are long, and you hardly ever get the credit you deserve. Carl: If that's the case then I plead guilty. Laura: Girl, have you ever seen the hair salon so crowded? Harriette Winslow: [enters the house and sees Curtis] Hi. 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, urkel - Pinterest Steve Urkel: Hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, hi Laura, hi Harriette, oh look, it's Laura! "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. [just got lemon tart filling thrown at him]. You know, Harriette, It's the thought that counts. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. [Urkel is playing Danny Boy on his Swiss Melody Chimes and Carl is furiously awaken by it. Your dad's runnin' late. 'Purple Urkel:' Actor Jaleel White launches cannabis brand - New York Post Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Stevil was back and he was coming for my soul! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. Laura Lee Winslow: Well that really bugs me. Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? "I have a pen, you have a phone number. It was your free safety. Second question. Mucus comes in so many colors. And, he's got something that he didn't have before. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, now Harriette, that's a bit harsh. Ms. Steuben: I know, Steven. Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! But you'll never play in this game again. Overall, Steve's good intentions trump his flaws and give the audience a plethora of laughs every time he comes onscreen and says, "Did I do that?" Without Steve Urkel, Family Matters would have been overlooked as just another TGIF Friday night comedy show. Sara Sue Pettyjohn: [stuck up toward Myrtle's lack of style and class] That's the difference between *old* money and *new* money. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh really, why wasn't I told? Rachel Crawford: Steve, did it ever occur to you that when the door is closed we're trying to keep unwanted people out? The hot chocolate will be ready soon. Edward, sure I got a moment. [plugs the cord into the socket]. Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. I kept quiet last week and I haven't say anything tonight. Curtis Williams: Laura, great timing. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: As long as you're up, bring me a piece. When I said my feelings for you might change, I was lying. Old money has more wrinkles! Waldo: Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? If all you ever look for is the float with Miss America on it, then the whole parade is going to pass you by. The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Next Saturday. Oh, you're a sore for sight eyes! And most of all, you don't have to deal with bullies. urkel-steve. Why, how low can you get? What is the value of X? Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Steve Urkel: Why, I can see the headlines now! Actor Jaleel White remembers his starring role on the '90s hit sitcom "Family Matters." Steve, what happened? You're making me blush. Was it fair that you stood your father up for bowling? Oh, yes it is! They misspelled three words. Urkel actor Jaleel White is launching his own cannabis brand | CNN Business Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! Why can't we share? Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. No. I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. He's a lawyer! Laura Lee Winslow: Rachel Crawfish, you got me, and I like the St. Louis Cardinals. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: We took in $2,000 dad and we want you to have it. Laura Lee Winslow: [as Laura Wigglesworth, pointing a gun at Johnny] The narration to finish! Will you marry me? Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. Carl Otis Winslow: [ordering in a coffee shop] Just a bearclaw and a coffee. Carl: Okay, you read the instructions, while I add all the pieces. Carl Otis Winslow: [after being frightened by Pablo, the stick bug] Did you see the size of that thing? Steve Urkel was the breakout character for the hit Friday night ABC sitcom "Family Matters" while Jaleel White who played him was the show's breakout star. Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. Carl: Rough. Waldo: Thanks for helping me find the gym. One Now, let's read it! Urkelbot: [Joe Friday Impression] Just the facts, ma'am. And if you call me names, do I not eat? These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: [reveals his empty jacket] He meant the booze that came out of my jacket. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: over and over and over. Steve Urkel: My "play-ground pass"? I'm going to give you an 'A'. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Cheating is wrong, Eddie, and you should know that. Harriette Winslow: Now let's hit the sack. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. You're setting a bad example for the kids. Doo da doo da. Rachel Crawford: It's okay, Steve. There is no Steve here. Harriette Winslow: [feigns being touched] Oh, Carl this is beautiful. often referred to simply by his surname, Urkel, is the main protagonist of Family Matters. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? Carl will understand. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Waldo come to the Witness Stand. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No no no no no. Steve Urkel: Now, relax, Eddie. You got the whole family off on the wrong foot. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. My doctor slapped the wrong end. Chico! "Tomorrow, Dad!" And we practiced for six minutes! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Carl hasn't moved that fast since he chased a doughnut down hill. You would win the gold. Carl Otis Winslow: That's right, that petition was a great idea. I bought a new dress and you say you can't take me? Please, my little Rapunzel. All kids 7 and up go to Eddie's room and play Nintendo. Steve Urkel: Danger's my middle name! You can do it! r/Unexpected on Reddit: Pick up lines as it's peak Just you and me. She actually said, "Human Being". And I hear myself telling her the same things my mother told me. Carl was his horse. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? My parents play this with me all the time! Larry Csonka: Yes, spread the word. Eddie: I just did the laundry and I'm on my way out to wash the car and cut the grass. Steve Urkel: To keep the camera on him and forget all the other meatheads. Urkel pronouns are the best. Carl Otis Winslow: Tomorrow. When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! Sergeant Shishka: Don't insult my Army. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, no thanks, I went before I left. Steve Urkel: Laura, this is a a really special moment and well, I think we should celebrate it by getting married. Urkel defeats him]. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, they applauded when we left. When are you going to the store? Then we par-tay, see no problem. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Carl Otis Winslow: I'll tell you what son, why not give me cash for Christmas. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings? Pass the salt, Edward. Robber: [threatens Steve] You! Carl = Son, you have disobeyed me for a woman? Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. I'm getting penalized because I'm emotionally stable! Carl Otis Winslow: All right. So they picked up all out stuff and moved us again. This has never happened before. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Steve is clumsy and obsessive yet charismatic and likable. [Carl steps in the chamber and Stefan starts it up]. [walks into the bathroom]. Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. He's having the same discussion with his father. Included in the potential "Did I Do That?" Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I just feel so helpless! Harriette: Well, if he remembers you, he's used to you looking like a jerk. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. There's lots of reasons why I don't love you. Harriette Winslow: So what you're saying is it's full. Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. Stefan Urkelle: Good lord, you're a nerd. It's not funny, it's dangerous. Steve Urkel: Of course. Harriette Winslow: I am not! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura, I kept this ring in hopes that one day you would accept it. Steve Urkel: What? Waldo, you may go now. Steve Urkel: So, you used me! What about it, Steve. [Goes to feel his head]. Carl Otis Winslow: Richie, I get the money back if the helmet breaks. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. While a miserable Eddie has to play checkers with Steve. White . Weel Good Lord man, she's an overnight success story. Because, I already told him I do remember him. Alexandre Dumas was black. Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. Steve Urkel: How tough am I? [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Steve Urkel | Family Matters Wiki | Fandom Bazooms! Money has germs on it. Uh, Curtis. Steve Urkel: [shows up in the living room with his flowers from the cemetery] Hi Laura, these are for you. I wanna read it to my mom. Laura Lee Winslow: If I hadn't started that petition, none of this would've happened. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Laura: What you did for me tonight was really special. Clarence: [walking into the Winslow house] Well if it ain't the Partridge family. Steve Urkel: Oh, no buts! Me and Laura went ice skating together. Estelle Winslow: Your great grandfather's name was Lester. And him. But I have feelings, too. And, my God, look what you've done to Waldo. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. I rushed her to the emergency room and the doctor said she has walking pneumonia. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I'm missing the parade. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. Harriette Winslow: For my birthday, you bought me an exercise trampoline. You mother once tried bean bags. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots.